Graham, Just One Shade Read online

  I pushed her back and, kneeling up, I undid my jeans and pulled them down as far as I could. I was huge and throbbing and now I just wanted to fuck her. I slid into her. She was tight and wet and hot. It felt good. I held onto her tiny waist and pushed deeper inside her. I liked seeing my penis pushing in and out of her pussy. It just looked so sexy. We fucked slowly at first with long deep strokes. I tried to make it last as long as I could. I wanted her to remember this night forever. We got faster and faster and harder until I exploded inside her. We kissed and cuddled again wrapped up in each other’s arms; safe, secure and happy.

  In between showering and drinking coffee, we made love until 4.30 am; in the shower, in the bedroom, on the stairs and she gave me a fantastic blow job on the settee. If she really hadn’t done it before then I have to say ‘she was a natural’.

  I saw Kay every day that week and even took a day’s annual leave, so we could have a day out at Chester. When we weren’t together we were thinking about each other, or on the phone to each other. I think we had fallen in love by the time our marriage partners came back at the weekend. We had discussed how we would behave together in their company, and what would be safe contact. It all seemed to work and we led double lives. The two families got closer. As a foursome we spent a lot of time together and the children played together.

  Sometimes it took a lot of careful planning to spend time together, but we always managed it a few times a week. When I think of the times that the four of us were together, I’m absolutely amazed how the others didn’t catch on to our secret, but they didn’t and the love affair continued from the March until August before we were discovered. It might have gone undiscovered forever if we hadn’t fallen in love. But we had done and we had to see each other. As a result, the careful planning got less careful. More and more impulsive meetings and telephone calls occurred more and more often. Lies and cover stories had to be made up. We were getting reckless.

  We both knew it but, somehow, we just didn’t care too much, although we had both agreed that neither of us would leave their own kids for the other one. In a lover’s naïve way we just thought we could carry on like this forever. In fact, we probably didn’t even think that far ahead. We just had to have each other as often as we could. A touch, a glance, a kiss would be all it took to make each other’s day. Oh! And as much sex as we could fit in.

  It was our impulsive recklessness that caused the discovery of our love affair. Each week Darren and I would take it in turn to mow each other’s lawns. It was a weekend in August. Darren was working and it was my turn to mow. As I was cutting next door’s front lawn, Kay started stripping off in the lounge, just to tease me really. When I was pushing the mower away from the house I practically broke into a little jog, but on the turn back towards her house I went as slow as a snail. I couldn’t get enough of her wonderful nakedness. She would pass me cold drinks out through the front window. My ex-wife would often do the same for Darren when he mowed the lawns. The only difference was that Kay was naked, and we started kissing through the open window. Maybe a little too reckless this time, but the kissing felt good.

  “WHAT THE FUCK‘S GOING ON YOU BASTARDS?” The words were screamed out loud. My ex-wife had been hiding and watching from an upstairs window and, when I looked up, she was hanging out of her bedroom window, like some deranged ape. My immediate thought was ‘God, please make her fall’, but she didn’t! She then ran downstairs and jumped the garden fence to confront us. Kay grabbed a shirt and tried to use it to cover herself, but with little success!

  It’s funny, but even then, being caught like that, my mind was whizzing round as my brain, trying to think of an excuse to explain the situation. I actually thought of a couple, but they would have sounded pathetic, and anyway, I didn’t feel as if I owed my ex-wife anything, least of all an explanation. I didn’t want her to be standing there screaming and shouting though. There was no point in the whole village knowing about it. So I took her back inside our house and we had the longest talk that we had ever had during all our married lives. I made no apologies and told her that it would probably be for the best for us to separate. We had no feelings for each other. In fact, most of the time, we hated each other. It was just a marriage of convenience. Well, for her anyway. I never actually found it so convenient myself.

  My ex-wife was amazingly calm. I was expecting violence, but it never happened. She argued about the sake of the kids, and threatened that I would never see them again. She went on about how she would destroy me. She said that we would have to move house, but then she would never mention it again. We would carry on like before, as if nothing had happened, but at least I would still have a roof over my head and I would be with the kids.

  For the second time in my life I failed to stand up to her. I hated myself. I was sentenced to continue in a loveless marriage with no early release date and bullied into carrying on living with a woman I detested. I was leaving a house that I was settled and happy in and leaving a woman who I had fallen in love with. What a mess. But that was my life, and it was all my fault. I had messed it all up when I married my ex-wife and I wasn’t going to get away that easily. I went round a little later to talk to Kay. She was worried to death. I told her that I couldn’t leave my kids, and she seemed to understand. She cried a lot and I was helpless to comfort her. I couldn’t stop her tears. Even in her sadness, she looked beautiful. I kissed her. It was a goodbye kiss. Within a week we had moved to a house 30 miles away. I was still with this horrible woman who I detested. How could I ever trust a woman who was prepared to hide and spy on me?

  I never saw Kay again. I did see Darren a few times, usually driving along the M6 motorway. I know that they got divorced shortly after the love affair between Kay and I. Someone from the village told me. I moved into the new house and hated my ex-wife even more than I ever did. We had even less to do with each other than we ever did.

  I was back to square one, drifting in and out of affairs with no love involved. It was safer that way and, anyway, I didn’t feel like falling in love anymore. I wasn’t feeling very good about myself.

  Something inside me had changed because of my love affair with Kay. I wasn’t happy with myself for leaving her the way I did, and I resented my ex-wife even more than I ever did.

  Like most people, my life had twists and turns, and I’m not sure exactly how I have ended up where I have. A series of decisions, mistakes, good and bad fortune and just fate, I guess.

  The only thing I wanted, the only thing I have ever wanted, is to find the right person to love. To be in love and to be loved. I know I wear my heart on my sleeve. I know I am probably too romantic for my own good, but I believe in love and I believe that somewhere out there is the right girl for me. Finding her was proving to be the difficult bit. My pathetic marriage dragged painfully on for another few years before I walked out.

  Chapter 4: Another chance at Love!

  Mandy came into my life at just the right time. She was an air stewardess. Sorry, she was cabin crew! She was attractive, outgoing and vivacious. She had a fantastic body, loved sex and just knew how to be sexy, very sexy.

  It was only three weeks after I had walked out of my marriage. I had nowhere to live and I was missing my children desperately. Although I had no doubt that I had finally done the right thing, it was a very traumatic time and I was trying to cope with the stress of the situation. I was struggling to shake off the sadness that engulfed me and threatened to turn into depression.

  I had briefly met Mandy about four or five months previously. She had come into one of the stores under my management. She parked a brand new BMW convertible in the disabled bay nearest the main entrance to the store. She was wearing a little white summer dress with no bra or pants. The buttons on the front of the dress were undone except for about four in the middle, which did little to cover her magnificent body. She smiled a lot and flicked her hair a lot. She made qu
ite an impact in the store and most of the lads were buzzing around her like flies. She loved the attention and smiled and flirted easily with everyone. She was blonde and slim with a great body. She looked well-tanned. Her dress was open at the top and her breasts swelled out of the gap and jiggled about as she laughed. Her long shapely legs disappeared under the tiny white cotton dress that had given up trying to hide her modesty. She had a soft Geordie accent and had her audience captivated with her tales of travelling around the world as an air stewardess, sorry cabin crew, and being married to a premier league footballer. I didn’t speak to her. Even if I had wanted to, I would have struggled to get past the other lads who had her jealously surrounded, each trying to help her with her huge shopping list and get the best view down her top. She gave a £50 tip to be shared amongst them.

  When she left, all the lads stood at the windows to watch her get into her white BMW convertible and drive off. Testosterone and sexual frustration filled the air. In some kind of male ritual the lads were grabbing their own genitals, groaning and saying how they could fuck her. She was the talk of the store all day. I think she enjoyed the power that she obviously knew she had over men.

  Then the day came when I met her properly. She was sitting on one of the seats that were set against the windows in front of the check-outs. It was Monday morning. Some of the male staff members were doing her shopping for her. I was walking out of the store and saw her sitting there. She smiled at me in recognition.

  “Oh! Hello!” I said, a little surprised that she seemed to recognise me.

  “Hi.” She had a lovely smile.

  I told her that I knew that all the staff looking after her would do a good job. She laughed and said that she would be quite happy if I could show her some of the new HD TV’s. I smiled and of course agreed, even though I was on my way out of the store. I didn’t mind really; she was attractive and sexy. It sort of brightened my day. She made a comment about me having the weight of the world upon my shoulders. She was spot on, I felt as if I did.

  “Is it so obvious?”

  “I am a great listener” she smiled.

  I laughed at first, but then I just started telling her about my current situation and a brief history of my marriage. Maybe this was the release I needed. Up until now I hadn’t talked to anyone about what was going on in my life. Within minutes we were sat down facing each other across a coffee table. If it had been in the store restaurant we could have had a nice cup of coffee, but it wasn’t. It was on display and for sale in the shop. She put her hand on top of mine.

  “You poor thing” she said.

  She went on to tell me that she was now separated from her footballer husband. He was now having an affair and living with a girl in Ireland. She seemed to be really sympathetic to my feelings and I have to say she was really quite lovely to me. She was very positive about life and, despite her own personal problems, she was bright and bubbly. I found myself being inspired by her. We had spent over half an hour discussing our personal lives and as she left she gave me her mobile number.

  “If you ever want to go for a drink, or just have a chat, give me a call.” She kissed me on the cheek as if we were old friends. “Keep your chin up.” With that she left. Now she had really made an impression on me. It had quite cheered me up and for the next few days Mandy kept popping up in my thoughts. I didn’t mention her to the other staff but everyone was talking about her for days. By the time Friday came around I decided that I would ring her. I rang her later that afternoon. She seemed really quite happy that I had rung her and there was no awkwardness. She was renting a house in a local village not far away and suggested meeting up in the car park of the village pub. She hadn’t been in the village very long and had yet to visit the local pub. She said that maybe we could have a meal there and we agreed to meet up at 8.00 pm, I went to her straight from work at 7.30 pm. I was looking forward to seeing her again.

  Mandy pulled up in her BMW and got out and walked over to me in the car park. As usual she was wearing clothes that were small and tight and showed her body off to its best advantage. Her hair and make-up were fantastic. My heart was beating fast. She looked beautiful and very sexy, and I was having a date with her. Wow!

  She smiled and kissed me on the cheek, I didn’t read anything into this. I had already seen that she had a knack of being instantly friendly with everybody. You couldn’t help but like Mandy.

  She created quite a stir when we walked into the pub and turned a lot of heads. It was obvious that she was the topic of a lot of conversations. If you saw Mandy, you would probably guess that she was either a model, or an air stewardess, or a high class hooker. The one thing you could not help but notice was how incredibly sexy she was. She absolutely oozed sex appeal, and she knew it. I felt quite pleased with myself to be out in public with her. It sort of added to my own attractiveness; at least that’s how it made me feel. Maybe everyone in the pub would think that I’m some rich bastard, because you would just know that that’s the sort of bloke Mandy would be out with.

  It was a lovely evening and I forgot all about my troubles. The conversation flowed and we flirted. Mandy talked about her husband a lot, quite a lot. A bit too much really; in fact far too bloody much for my liking. He had played for Sunderland, Derby and Wolves before taking a job as player manager with Cork City in Ireland; not to be mistaken for the Cork City anywhere else in the world. It was at Cork that he met a girl, started an affair, and left Mandy for her.

  “He must have been a really crap player” I said.

  “What?” Mandy laughed an incredulous disbelieving laugh.

  “Well, I’ve never heard of him! He must have spent his life on the subs bench.”

  “That’s really sweet” Wendy laughed. But I wasn’t joking. I really had never heard of him, and I’m a football fan.

  Mandy enjoyed telling me about all the footballers and actors who she knew and had socialised with, or who had tried to get in her knickers over the years. I had heard of all of these other names that she mentioned. If she was trying to impress me, it didn’t work. I actually found it quite irksome, and at one point I felt like saying “Well, why are you sitting here with me if you could be out with all these people”, but I didn’t.

  I really didn’t know why Mandy was sitting here with me. I could never compete with any of these people in the rich and famous stakes. I wasn’t rich or famous and never would be. Mandy was obviously used to the glamorous lifestyle. I didn’t see where a hard-working, down on his luck area store manager would fit into all this. But for tonight at least, she was happy in my company, and I made her laugh a lot.

  We stayed until closing time, and when we got up to leave, Mandy slipped her hand into mine. We walked out of the pub hand in hand, and I couldn’t help thinking ‘This is great. All these people are going to think that she’s my girlfriend’.

  It was good for my ego and my self-esteem. My spirits soared. I walked her to her car and she asked me if I wanted to sit in with her. For a while we sat in her car and chatted until the car park emptied. We started kissing and when the last car left the car park Mandy pushed me back in the seat.

  Without saying another word she undid my trousers, took my cock out and sucked it until I came in her mouth. What a great first date this was turning out to be.

  As I left her she told me that she was flying to America tomorrow and wouldn’t be back for another five days. She said that she would ring me then. I walked to my car. I didn’t think that I would hear from Mandy again. I didn’t really mind. It had been a great night with a beautiful woman. I thought I had been very lucky and didn’t expect anything more.

  I didn’t tell any of the staff at work about my date with Mandy because, firstly, it was none of their business, and secondly, nobody would have believed me.

  I tried not to let myself think about Mandy while she was away in America, but
I was delighted when she rang me from the airport upon her return to England.

  I picked her up from her house later that night and drove out to a canal side pub in the countryside. Mandy, as usual, looked great and very sexy. She always looked as if she had just stepped off the catwalk in either London, Paris or Milan. She was full of smiles and her bubbly personality lifted my spirits once more.

  Over drinks, the conversation became slightly more serious and Mandy showed a very sensitive side. We talked about our hopes and fears, relationships and even about the future. Mandy reached across the table and held my hand.

  “I don’t want a casual relationship.” She looked into my eyes and right down into my soul. I didn’t say anything.

  “Do you think I’m the sort of girl that you could fall in love with?”

  Wow! That was a big question, and I could almost feel the weight of it pressing down on top of me. I actually thought that she was the type of girl that any man could fall in love with. How should I answer this?

  “I could try.” It didn’t seem like the perfect answer, but it was the best I could manage on the spot with no time to prepare.

  “That’s all I could ask for” she smiled and then leaned over the table and kissed me. Maybe it was the perfect answer after all. I think from that moment we both accepted that we were boyfriend and girlfriend, almost as if we had signed a contract.

  I felt quite happy about it. I was ready to embark on a proper love affair and not just a casual thing. I was feeling good.

  When I took her home, Mandy asked me to wait in the car for a minute. She went into the house and returned moments later with some presents for me that she had brought back from America. She gave me some designer clothes and some aftershaves. I felt awkward and embarrassed. Did this mean that she thought I was a scruffy smelly bastard, or was she just being nice? I wasn’t expecting anything and had nothing to give her in return. I had some loose change in my pocket, but it might make me look cheap if I gave her that.